sinking

My bike is upside down on my living room floor.  I lost a part to the front wheel somewhere between Kentucky and Seattle.  I will take it to a mountain bike repair shop nearby to give her a nice lube and lovin.  This world is moving to fast for me. 

Yesterday, I had an hour left of work to kill.  We were sawing ivy rings around big old trees in Preston.  The first half of the morning we were working in peoples yards.  Then we slowly moved further and further away from all that.  One thing very unique about working in the middle ground of development and loose earth is the randomness of everything.  

Josh found (and wore) a red tee, I found (but didn't drink) 3 cans of beer.  In my last hour of climbing through thick blackberry and boggy ground, I found a tree house next to a heavily flowing creek.  Two wooden high back chairs were perfectly placed creating an ideal drinking or sitting spot.  I imagined myself there.  

I still have not changed.  I would rather stand still holding hands staring at the sky, mountains, and water then live indoors with strange faces.  

I will pump these breaks and begin looking elsewhere.  There is a hole in my heart and I don't know what to do about it.  All I want to feel is love.